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Clean Jokes


June 30 Joke
A young blonde was taking her first airplane flight. About one hour into the flight the pilot announced over the intercom, "One of our four engines is out, we will be about fifteen minutes late arriving."
The blonde, continued to read her "Glamour" magazine. About 30 miniutes later the pilot came on the intercom again and said, "There is a second engine out, we will be about thirty miniutes late."
The Blonde passenger, looked up a bit concerned but returned to reading her magazine. Fifteen minutes after that the pilot once again came on the intercom and said, "I'm sorry to say that there is a third engine out, we'll be about one hour late arriving at our destination."
The blonde turned to the man sitting next to her and said, "Boy if that forth engine goes out, we'll be up here all day."

June 11 Joke
Becky and Sally Ann were blondes and doing some carpentry work on a house.
Becky, who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing the nails away?"
Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
Sally Ann got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! The nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!

June 10 Joke
Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.
The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...
They have them aimed at themselves."


June 9 Joke

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to tell you - we also deliver."